By: Krow Smith | @coffeewithkrow

Lately, I’ve been playing through .hack//G.U. Last Recode (2017) again. This seems to be an annual occurrence because I dearly love the .hack games as they bring me so much nostalgia and comfort. I feel like I can always turn to them whenever I need a break from stress or I simply need to touch base with a childhood favorite. Revisiting these characters I love so much can really be a solace for me. However, I have one major gripe with some of the online opinions of one character in particular—Sakubo.

Before jumping in, if you know nothing about .hack, let alone the G.U. series, it’s important to know that it’s a game within a game. You are playing a character that is playing an MMORPG called “The World.” All you get to see are the desktop screen and “The World” once you “log in.” This is needed context for understanding the explanation of events in this single-player game.

Major spoiler warning for Sakubo from here on out.

In .hack//G.U., there is a character/player named Sakubo, the subject of this post. They are a character that is shared by twins—older sister Saku and younger brother Bo. At least, that is what you are led to believe up until playing Volume 3. This is when you, the player, learn that the 11-year-old boy playing Sakubo has Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), revealing that Saku is an alter of Bo.

This is revealed to you when Saku tells Haseo (the character you play) that she believes the people she cares about most, particularly Bo, don’t need her anymore. She says that her “job is done” and that her body “only exists here in The World” as her mind “only exists inside of Bo.” She believes Haseo can be there for Bo in her place, along with some other people, making her role obsolete in his life. Then, the rest of the conversation is over email exchanges that happen periodically between hours of gameplay and story beats.

In these email exchanges, you get to respond with one of two options. One is a Haseo trying to keep Saku from “vanishing.” While the other option depicts a Haseo that is actively telling her to “disappear.” The cruel responses are reminiscent of Haseo’s previous attitude, the one he grows out of over the course of the series, making it obvious which answers the game thinks are correct (it is the kind responses to keep Saku from going away, in case you thought otherwise). This is what creates a divide in the opinions of other people who have played this game in the franchise.

Most people don’t like Saku for her brash, tsundere nature and antics. She’s an obsessive fangirl over a character/player named Endrance, who doesn’t give her much attention, and she is cruel to those she deems to be in the way of Endrance’s success. Perceiving Haseo as a threat, Saku not only conspired a plan to get rid of Haseo, but she outright fought against him when her hatred came to a peak.

She never shows any gratitude towards Haseo, no matter how kind he is to her or how much he helps Bo. To a lot of people, she is a weird stalker and an ungrateful brat, while Bo is loved for his shy, sweet demeanor. This is what makes some people’s decision to let Saku “vanish” a no-brainer; They’re simply getting rid of an annoyance—a hostile character plotting your downfall, and a perceived hindrance to Bo.

Now, to be fair, when the third volume of .hack//G.U. initially released in 2007, the way you would pick to play with Saku or Bo would be dependent on which of the two were “online.” How this was determined was based on your level. If your level was an even number, only Saku would show. If your level was an odd number, only Bo would be available. This created an issue when in the last game of the original G.U. series, your max level is 150, making it so that you can never invite Bo to your party again.

So, if you are playing the third volume from 2007, then it might make sense to do away with the character you don’t like only to be left with a character you actually enjoy. However, playing the remaster, Last Recode, you can pick either Saku or Bo whenever you want, as both options are available. This makes it an easy decision to keep Saku, right? Well, there have been some debates surrounding that.

This brings me to part of the real frustration I feel, which is the blatant misinformation about how DID works and what is actually good for Bo. When Saku says she will “vanish” or “disappear,” this—to me—is not implying she will integrate or fuse with Bo. Instead, it sounds like she will simply become dormant by the fact that she’s using wording that is separating herself from Bo and pushing him away (an alter can become dormant due to them feeling unneeded in the system, and there are other reasons such as excessive stress and an inability to cope).

Saku is clearly overwhelmed by the feeling of loneliness and a sense that no one will care if she’s gone, to the point that she sees herself as completely replaceable. She can’t cope with all of these concepts and emotions, causing her to push everyone away and disappear into Bo’s consciousness to avoid these feelings. This doesn’t magically cure Bo nor is it the healthiest thing for him, like some people think.

Some people treat Saku like an abscess to be drained in order to heal the body (Bo) or think you can simply take medication to treat DID, similar to treating an infection. This isn’t how DID works. It can’t be cured or subdued by medication, and an alter metaphorically offing themselves is not conducive to an integrated self. That is, if they would even want final fusion! It sounds more like Bo wants functional multiplicity instead, and as long as Saku feels secure in her role as protector and her relationship with Bo, she’s along for the ride as well.

In reality, going dormant is generally a neutral act. In the case of Saku, this is—from the game’s narrative—being made out to be a suicide. With how the story is presented, Saku “disappearing” is actually her dying. People will say that Bo doesn’t need her because he has “real” friends now, but this makes no sense to me. It is shown in Volume 4 (only playable in Last Recode), The World is shutting down. Not to mention, prior to logging on for the last moments of The World, Haseo didn’t talk to any of his companions, aside from one, for the several months he wasn’t playing the game. So, technically speaking, Bo would be without a protector and continue to be a victim of bullying from his real-life peers, which is the whole reason for Saku’s existence to begin with.

That’s what it boils down to: People making a decision they deem to be better for Bo even though he asks Haseo for help with keeping Saku around. They are essentially speaking over the voice of the person who has DID, and making a destructive choice for the system with illogical and misinformed reasoning. Yes, this is all a fictional game dealing with fictional characters. However, these are real responses that some people have to a very real situation.

As someone with DID, seeing people essentially say that you are indulging a delusion or that you need to let Bo’s “sick mind” heal, I feel my blood simmer to a boil. Not only is this ableist in the sense that they are taking away Bo’s agency over his own system as they believe they know what’s best for him. It also completely disregards Saku’s feelings and encourages her decision to—as the game implies—die. They don’t see Saku as an integral part of Saku-bo, they see her as an error, an illness, a part that doesn’t deserve to live.

By extension, this belief bleeds into the abandonment of Bo. Who will protect him from being bullied in his everyday life? Yes, he has Haseo, but what could the 17-year-old in a different city do to help an 11-year-old Bo? Saku is there to fight back against any attempted harm upon Bo, Haseo and the others aren’t capable of stopping it like Saku can. She is needed, she is important, and her role as protector is not done. Not to mention that neither final fusion or functional multiplicity can occur if Saku “vanishes.”

To end on a positive note, I find that the responses Haseo gives to Saku, the ones that support her existence and role in Bo’s life, are quite sweet. It warms my heart to see someone like Haseo understand that Sakubo is a system and each part of it not only deserves to exist, but each piece is integral in creating the whole puzzle. People can argue it’s “unhealthy” or even “dangerous” all day, but it doesn’t take away from the series’ canon and narrative that Saku should remain with Bo, to be his protective big sister. Besides this being a win for decent representation of someone with DID, it’s also an example of how to treat someone with DID. Like each alter matters.

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Developmental edits by: Peggy Sue Wood | @pswediting

Copyedited by: Katherine Cañeba | @kcserinlee